Friday, November 11, 2005 9:52 AM
ryanseals
Living without the "X-Factor"
It has almost been a week. A week ago this afternoon I finally got home
and reunited with my family after the longest year in my life.
It really hasn't hit me yet. I'm in a new city. I'm in a new apartment.
I have a new car. Soon, I'll be looking for a new job. Heck, I even
have a new wife.
It has just been hard to imagine not having to live life at home with
"X" amount of days left. The last three times that I was home for any
amount of time, I was living with the "X-Factor."
No longer do I have to cram everything I want to do into just a few
days. No longer do I have to juggle my schedule to make sure I see this
person and that person. No longer do I have to make sure I get this and
that done by this certain day.
In the big scheme of things, I no longer am confined to the schedule of
war. I am free to go as a please, sleep whenever I want, and eat food
that doesn't taste like it's been scraped off the floor. No longer do I
have to wonder when the next time will be that I'll be called outside
of the wire to help pick up Muhammed whatshisname or wonder when the
next time will be that any of my buddies or I will run past an IED.
It all seems almost surreal actually. I can definitely relate to how
Christy feels when she keeps asking whether or not I am real.
My heart is in the United States, but I still feel as if my mind wants to wander back to Iraq.
But it will all just take time though, in a life not living with the "X-Factor."
- Ryan