Sunday, November 20, 2005 4:37 PM
jfitzer
Infantry SOOOOOOUL-JAH
More shenanigans from a misguided group of infantry IRRs
Things I have learned since mobilizing.
- Infantry soldiers will eat anything, especially if money is involved
- Infantry soldiers will NOT turn down a drinking challenge, even if it means they will spend 40 minutes outside the barracks puking
- Infantry soldiers should NEVER ground guide a HMMWV in reverse while making fun of non-infantry pogues... They will inevitably forget to close the passenger door, and end up tearing it off when it strikes a telephone pole (that was my vehicle, dammit...)
- Infantry soldiers love porn... and there is NO pooping allowed in the stall that is designated the "porn stall." Failure to comply could mean that you'll get pink-bellyed.
- Corollary to the above: An infantry soldier finds no shame in walking toward the latrine with a stack of porn mags or a DVD player in one hand, and toilet paper in the other. In fact, he doesn't understand why people are looking at him funny.
- Infantry soldiers will never miss an opportunity to remind people that we're better than they are. Even if said individual is a Lt Col. in the field artillery.
- Trying to force an infantry soldier (who is THE most experienced soldier behind his weapon system) to follow some dumbass rule on machine gun ranges and rifle ranges MAY result in that soldier telling you that you are a complete waste of fucking oxygen. Apparently, it doesn't matter that you're an E6 with 18 years in the national guard. Infantry soldiers are not impressed by 18 year E6's.
- Infantry soldiers are also unimpressed by so called "sexual harassment" guidelines and rules. If we think a girl is pretty, we tell her so. If we think she has amazing boobs, we tell her that also. When she slaps us, then we consider the conversation OVER.
- If you are a non-combat-arms soldier... do NOT under any circumstances tell us that we're doing reflexive fire drills wrong. YOU'RE fucking wrong. Reclass to infantry and come talk to us.
- We complain... A LOT. Many of us don't agree with this war. However, we are excited to lay absolute fucking WASTE to the enemy. Contrary to what you might think, this is NOT a contradiction. We simply realize that we cannot get out of deploying, so we consciously decide to cause as much damage to the enemy as possible... and piss on his corpse, if feasable.
If any infantry soldiers are reading this, please add to the list.
James